Surely, there’s not a soul here that hasn’t heard of the Krang company, makers of products such as (blank), and (blank), and (blank). If you somehow don’t know them, try using their wildy popular search engine — I hear they’re the best at algorithms.

Just a few years ago, Krang shook the entire world up when they announced they had discovered the “key” to time travel, allowing corporate-sanctioned travelers (or “Trippers”, as they like call themselves) to explore periods of the past (and one day, the future).

As a business, Krang’s model seemed impressive, even philanthropic: they would “save” relics of yesteryears – real life foods and fashions that fell out favor, actual inventions that never came to be, animals that went extinct, even people doomed to die – and bring them back to a Time’s Fair where they could be shared, and yes, in many cases sold to the general public.

And while Krang’s time venture has its critics (even though the company has explicitly stated it adheres to “butterfly-effect precautions”, there are doubters), it’s no match for the thousands that attend Time’s Fair every week, set in a beautifully restored Library of Alexandria (or as Forbes Magazine calls it, “the hippest restored ancient library in the world!”).

So come ye’ come all and (re-?)experience prehistory, the Roman era, The Old West, the dawn of the 20th Century, and more. Welcome to the newest concept of an open-air museum, where history once again becomes our present.

Oh yeah, and while you’re there, don’t forget to check out an actual Tripper’s Time Launch. You can see how it’s all done: safely, securely, and for everyone’s maximum enjoyment. That’s the Krang way!